This past weekend I had the privilege of joining several other women on a retreat. There wasn’t an agenda – simply an invitation to come soak in the sweet presence of Jesus. To be honest, I felt like I shouldn’t have been asked to come. My life isn’t all that busy – it’s not like I desperately needed time away. I have plenty of time to myself while Josiah is in school. Obviously I was wrong.
I came without expectations. Basically I said “Jesus, I’m here, but that’s all I’ve got.” At the last minute I decided to bring my camera. But a little backstory…ever since we lost our baby I’ve hardly pulled my camera out for personal use. Probably 2 or 3 times. It’s felt impossible to see beauty, to be creative. I’ve poured my soul into training for this giant race which has been a much more accurate expression of my emotions. So it was very uncharacteristic to bring my camera to this.
I’m still processing much of what God did in my heart, and I’ll likely keep most of it hidden in my journals, but I want to give God praise for sparking the desire to create again. Bringing out my camera became a form of worship this weekend. I would take a picture, and I’d find a scripture that went with that photo and spoke directly to my heart. Or the opposite – God would give me a scripture and I’d walk outside and put a photo to it. It invigorated my heart to create, to seek Jesus and be near to Him. I captioned the specific photos that this happened below.
The most significant photo for me is the last one. I’d just read Isaiah 58:11 – “The Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your soul in drought, and strengthen your bones; you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”
As I sat out there playing around with shutter speeds and different settings on the water, I began singing a verse from The Garden by Kari Jobe.
I can see the ivy // growing through the wall // cause you will stop at nothing // to heal my broken soul
I sat there singing those words over and over until we were called back in.
It’s more than clear. He’s healing my broken soul.